So I think i've had a break down......

NOTHING has happened to make change with that bloody cat!!!! I sat listening to meows until 5AM the other night and again stopped him coming into the house, yesterday. I am scared to touch the cat or do anythign incase it comes back to me and well because this lass is 9 months pregnant they are "waiting" until she pops so not to stress her. I can only imagine this will turn into a were waiting until she settles with baby, to until she is over Post natal depression to our posting out of her ARGHHH I am so fed up and upset. The other day I was at coffee afternoon and her daughter slammed the play fridge door on Mason's fingers and she instead of telling her daughter it was wrong POINTED and LAUGHED at my crying 2 year old son, I mean REALLY!!!!!! so yes completely at wits end and at a loss for what to do.
This of coarse has effected me I am not the bright bubbly person I usualy am but rather a very tired fed up one and I hate it!

I tried having a night for the girls to all come around but found everyoe was too busy which is understandable but of 83 people only 2 came which was a huge blow. then I find out that a friend of mine is having a baby shower and basicly EVERYONE is going but I haven't recieved an invite so another knock off my already very low confidence. Drew working these mega late shifts is really getting hard as I am trying to be super mom but can't give the boys the 100% 1 on 1 time without him here so feel a crap mom, then he comes home and is to tired and fed up from his day to even aknowldge the fact I am around so yeah not very happy days around here. Then there is baby group which I thought was going perfect but some big changes have been decided which I am not happy about and feel it may have to do with the lass I am having problems with. I don't want her down their and she doesn't want to be if i am there which is great as MANY people have complained about the language and way she handles herself down there, one day inparticular she poured her daughter cereal and her daughter spilt it. She got up and said for f#$% sake (daughters name)" and slapped her daughter so hard she flew off the chair she was sat on. she then placed her on time out and said "you sit here you stupid little B*&^%" Now this is in my eyes unexcptable and if changes are going to be made so that people of them likes are allowed down there then I have decided I am done, I want no part of a group that accepts that form of behavior. So yes massivly down to all this I feel proper pooped on.

Yesterday I decided it was time to try taking a breather from life and view everything from affar to see if I am really a big problem or if by standing up for what I see right I have just hit a road block. i do know people like the easy street and good on them I do take the street I find right even if it means trouble along the way. anyways I decided not to go on a camping weekend this weekend and told my friend Lou, she asked why and I managed to say Im just out of sorts before bursting into tears! I never cry but suppose it all has gotten a bit way to much. I got a cuddle and headed on my way home feeling embarassed I had cried.

Anyways later on the day that never seemed to get brighter i picked the boys up for swimming and they did great, they are learning to swim with a noodle at the moment and getting the confidence to put their heads under water. Sam and Lou came after swimming and did honestly the nicest thing I have ever had done for me. They handed me this beautiful bouqet of lillies. I held back the tears thankfully this time but was gob smacked that someone cared so much to try and lift my spirits!

I decided to take a break off facebook until I am myself and try to girlie up, I booked for my nails to be done last night and they were beautifully by my friend Julia...

I then came home a bit more happy to be brought down a level, We have had 700 POUND stolen from our Uk bank account!!!!! We decided to leave it and deal in the morning but today I recieved a call from a collectors as they want money for a waxed out Canadian tire card, I have never had a Canadian tire card even when I worked there!!!! Apparently everyone wants to bring me down right now. I am lost what the hell next!